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Baby Diapers Online. Your Resource Guide

Men today want to participate in the birth process. They want to be there with and for their partners. They want to be involved in offering support and love.

Fathers who are able to participate in the birth of their child often report that the sharing of this experience with their partner/wife remains one of the most important moments in their relationship and in their lives. Even if the birth is difficult or a cesarean delivery, men still feel strongly about being together at this special time. Fathers' importance in participating at the birth is finally getting the acknowledgement it deserves.

Expectant fathers also need to explore what they need at the birth. What kind of support does the expectant dad need to ask for? Many of the new fathers I have worked with talked about how important having a male friend available for them was.

Men in western industrialized countries get little preparation as to how to make the transition from man to father. Participating in prenatal classes, going to prenatal visits with your partner are ways in which expectant fathers can be both supportive of their partners/wives and at the same time include themselves in the pregnancy process.

Many men begin during the pregnancy to develop a bond with their child. Expectant fathers in my groups have talked about how they-enjoyed laying their hands on their partner's belly and talking to their babies. This very personal and private communication is very powerful as a prenatal bonding ritual. Helping choose the birth attendants, midwife or doctor, and being involved in the choice of where the baby will be born is another way men begin becoming involved.

In my work with fathers, through the Fathers' Forum, I see men seeking to understand the journey from man to father, and I see how something very special happens when this "search for understanding" is shared with other men/fathers. Finding a relationship with other men/fathers during pregnancy is an important way in which we can help "initiate" each other into fatherhood. Make your children a priority in life. When children feel they are important, their self-esteem blooms.

 

SEVEN WAYS FATHERS CAN CONTRIBUTE

1. Read over immunization requirements. Although your children may not want to get a shot, that injection can prevent them from getting a serious, life-threatening, preventable illness.

2. Nurture your child's spiritual life whatever your spiritual beliefs. Let children know there is more to life than material gain. Teach them a sense of right and wrong and encourage them to use their talents to help others.

3. Accept each child as an individual. Each child has different talents that can be nurtured.

4. Watch the evening news. Has anyone reported an outbreak of a certain virus or a recall of a popular toy? By keeping an eye out for potential hazards, you can prevent your child from getting sick or hurt in the first place.

5. Get involved in your child's activities. Ballet. Soccer. Ask your children to teach you something about their chosen activities.

6. Take your children outside. Although allergies and heat are as much a part of Houston as the Rockets, throwing a ball or going to the park early on a Saturday morning before the temperature hits 90 degrees gets them moving and can be more meaningful than watching cartoons. Even a picnic or tent in the backyard where father and children can play a game is a worthwhile activity.

7. Hug them. A daily dose of Vitamin "T" (for touch) and a simple "I love you" can go a long way in keeping children healthy.

  REJECTING/NEGLECTING STYLE:

• Do you allow your young children to care for themselves or allow older children to dress and feed them on a regular basis?

• Has your children suffered from untreated ear infections or dental care?

• Do you threaten, yell, or hit your children to gain their cooperation?

• Have you ever left your young children home alone for hours at a time?

 AUTHORITARIAN STYLE:

• Do you expect your child to be seen but not heard?

• Is respect from your child the most important thing to have as a parent?

• Have you told your child to do something simply because "you told them so!"?

• Do you believe there is no difference between discipline and punishment?

 PERMISSIVE STYLE:

• Does your child refuse to follow your orders?

• Is negotiation a regular part of your interaction with your child?

• Have you ever begged your child to comply with you?

• Do you feel like your children take advantage of you or don't appreciate what you do for them?

DEMOCRATIC OR BALANCED STYLE:

• Do you allow your children to voice their opinions but make the final decision?

• Is the most important part of parenting teaching your child about responsibility and life?

• Do you decide what family issues are open for negotiation and which are not?

• Do you feel it is important for parents to model the kind of behavior they want from their child?